Hahaha okay, I am definitely digging the idea of this.. While the original Dante's Inferno was an undisputed masterpiece, it is true that the entire story is written in the most serious of tones. Which, okay, you can't blame the author for, it is a very serious topic, with some gory details. But I 100% support the comedic direction in which this is going. It so works! When I read that "we will run into people like Hitler, Kim Jon Un, Stalin, and even Mel Gibson" I laughed out loud in the study hall. Don't even get me started on the Kevin Durant part mannn.
One thing that I think is important, however, is not straying away from the central idea. From what I see in the introduction, in terms of the different levels, everything is lining up so far. But one of the greatest things about the original inferno is the use of crazy detail at each level. I think it is possible to maintain a comedic tone but also really dive into the story.
Another thing would be how you narrate the story. From what I read in the intro, you plan on using first person? Totally great idea, as long as it stays straight throughout the story. That stuff can get confusing sometimes.
Other than that, I am so excited to see how your stories fold out! I think it is such a unique and twisted idea, but is going to be so entertaining to read!
I really like your idea to use Dante Inferno; I think it has a lot of potential to be a really good topic. Your idea to add comedic relief to your story is very bold and adding a fun and interesting twist to such an iconic story. I laughed, a little too hard honestly, at the names you used in your story. More specifically the Irony of the Hugh Heffner part (R.I.P) haha and the Kevin Durant bit. I also liked your use of first person through the eyes of death; it adds a nice twist to the story. I will say do be carful with the flow of your story. I don’t want to stray to far of topic. It is easy to start going one direction and venture off in another, you just center it a little more. There were a few times early on the story seemed mottled and confusing. Other than that I think you have some great ideas and a lot of potential to put them to good use. I look forward to following your story the rest of the semester. Good luck!
I think your intro is great! Our writing styles seem very similar so I was into this from the first sentence. It's a very creative approach to Dante's Inferno, especially with your use of humor, but it totally works. I also really liked how you mentioned that there are 10 circles of hell and giving us some of that background to the original story, then explaining why we won't see all 10. I think the past, present, and future thing is an interesting twist even if I don't 100% get it right now. I would maybe italicize or bold or do something to make the font for the description of Death different from the font of when Death is talking to the audience. I think it would look a little nicer and maybe help with that transition from third person narration to first person narration. I can't wait to read more about Charley and Death's adventures through Hell!
I think you did an awesome job in writing your introduction. I also thought it was funny that you named your character Charley. Are you actually making yourself a character to be dissected or are you simply using your name? Regardless, I think that it is hilarious. I like that you are not showing Hell and your version of Dante's Inferno in such a serious manner. I can see this by including people in your Hell like Lebron James, Quagmire, and Kevin Durant (I can see that somebody is not that big of a fan of super teams!). The idea that Death is more or less here to be a narrator for some twisted sitcom is great and I feel that you can make stories that will generate good laughs. My only suggestion is reconsider only using three of the circles of Hell. Don't be afraid to diverge from your main path as the semester goes along! Overall, great job! I look forward to what comes next from Charley's adventure!
Hi Charles! Your introduction definitely made me laugh! I loved how you incorporated funny and yet extremely relevant characters in our society as examples of the people in the circles of hell! I am not going to lie, I was more than a little happy to see KD included under the "treachery" circle! I am really excited to see what you do with this storybook. I also liked how you made it seem like death is filming a reality tv show or something! It is a really good idea on how to spice up an already extremely well known yet kinda boring story! The one thing that was a little confusing to me was going from the first unknown narrator to death as the narrator, if you could find a way to transition to death a little more smoothly or maybe even explain who the first person is, I think that would really help with the clarity of this story! Overall you are doing a good job, and I can't wait to see what you have to say next!
Hey Charles! I am also doing a storybook for Dante's Inferno and I have the exact type of website as you do! I really like that you have kept to Dante's theme of using celebreties as examples within the afterlife. Even cartoon characters! Now that is original! I loved your intro and your story. I also like that you have focused on the more comedic side of things. My story focuses on the more morbid parts of hell, and integrating them into real life. A little spooky honestly. But anyways, my biggest suggestion to you is to give a little more detail of the surroundings. Paint a really good picture for the reader. When traveling into unknown dimensions such as hell, the reader probably has no idea what it even remotely looks like, so it is especially important here. Otherwise, great job! Keep it up! And if you need some ideas you might head over to my blog and see what I have done!
Charles, I really liked the use of dialogue in both your introduction and the first circle of Hell. It made me feel as though Death was actually talking to me instead of a narrator just explaining the events that are occurring. I also like the sense of humor you added. The original is very serious, but you made it your own with the comedic dialogue and the characters you chose. I think the most confusing part for me is when Death keeps referring to how he already knows Charley and has taken him on trips to Hell before. What exactly has Charley done before that warranted a visit from Death? Does Death usually visit people multiple times? These are questions that can clear up some confusion in the story if they were answered. Also, what if you included dialogue from Charley instead of just death? I feel as though Charley hasn’t really said anything, but it would improve the story if he did.
Charles! I love your idea of doing Dantes Inferno but making it more light hearted! Have you ever read The Book Thief? Your Death reminds me a lot of death in that novel! Great work! I also love that your main character is sort of named after you lol. I honestly think you should make Death the narrator from the very beginning though - he's a lot more compelling than the unknown one at the beginning. It makes so much since to my brain to use three of the levels of hell for your three stories! Great work!
Hey Charles. First of all, let me start by saying that I really like your idea to use Dante’s Inferno. I also like how you gave it A Christmas Carol twist. I like how your introduction set up the story in the viewpoint of Death, and also how he explains the Inferno. Your first story was very good to. I like how you decided to replace the people they meet with more modern day people that the readers can relate more easily to and are more likely to know the stories of. Your author’s note was also very helpful. I like how you explain that your Death and Charley are replacements for Dante and Virgil. I also like how you explain why you changed out the characters like Cleopatra for more modern characters like Quagmire. The images you used where very good and went well with the story. I hope you have a good rest of the semester, and look forward to reading more of your stories.
Hi Charles! I really enjoy your project concept — Inferno is fascinating to me and I think your take on it is really clever (I especially enjoyed your interpretations of the different circles of hell and who might be in them in the intro).
One thing that confused me was the voice you used throughout the story. It seems like you start the intro with a third person perspective, then shift to a first person perspective from Death. Straightening that out might be helpful.
Another thing I wondered while reading your first story — what exactly was Charley's sin? Death mentions that Charley deals with lust, but doesn't ever deal with any of the specifics of his sins. I think it might be helpful to let readers understand exactly what Charley is touring hell for. Also, Charley's dialogue with Death left me wondering when the two had met before? Death is vey familiar with Charley, but Charley seems not to know Death. What's the relationship there?
Overall, I really liked your creative retelling of Inferno — I'm looking forward to following Charley's journey through the next circles of hell.
Hi Charles! I like the idea of your project. I think one thing you might consider is, particularly in the introduction, making the design of your storybook a bit more engaging and easy to read. The super-small text on a blank white screen is a little dull. I thought your introduction was funny — including LeBron James and Kevin Durant under "treachery" brought a compelling modern-day touch to the story. Like Emma commented before, I think it's a little confusing with the relationship between Charley and Death. How do they know each other? Why has Death chosen Charley? In your Lust chapter, it seems wrong to use Bill Cosby as an example, since he's known to be sexually abusive. But that's obviously your call — just wanted to point that out in case you didn't know. Using Quagmire was a smart modern touch. Anyway, nice work! Hope the rest of the semester goes well for you.
Hey Charles, I really like Dante's Inferno so I like your stories a lot. Your introduction was very funny and I really like the LeBron and Kevin Durant references to today. There were some issues I had with the relationship between Charley and Death. I was wondering how they knew each other and why Charley. I really like the use of Quagmire as well. Really enjoyed your stories and hope the last few weeks of this semester go well for you.
Hey Charles, Great storybook! The layout of your storybook made it easy to navigate through the site and it was really interesting to read your stories. I am assuming that "Charley" is meant to be you? If so, I think that is really cool that you decided to put yourself in such a dark story plot. My favorite thing about your storybook was all of the detail that you used. The introduction really had me hooked from the beginning when you started to describe Death and how others see him. The photo that you used at the bottom of your introduction was really vivid. I thought that it showed what the reaper actually looked like. It was an interesting photo. The stories that followed were packed with so much detail that I thought I was in Charley's shoes living in all of that. The title of your storybook really made me curious too as of how we would be going back to the inferno, Meaning Dante's Inferno. But I really liked all of your stories and I thank you for sharing. It was really good. Have a great rest of your semester and try not to stress about finals like I know I will!
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Hahaha okay, I am definitely digging the idea of this.. While the original Dante's Inferno was an undisputed masterpiece, it is true that the entire story is written in the most serious of tones. Which, okay, you can't blame the author for, it is a very serious topic, with some gory details. But I 100% support the comedic direction in which this is going. It so works! When I read that "we will run into people like Hitler, Kim Jon Un, Stalin, and even Mel Gibson" I laughed out loud in the study hall. Don't even get me started on the Kevin Durant part mannn.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I think is important, however, is not straying away from the central idea. From what I see in the introduction, in terms of the different levels, everything is lining up so far. But one of the greatest things about the original inferno is the use of crazy detail at each level. I think it is possible to maintain a comedic tone but also really dive into the story.
Another thing would be how you narrate the story. From what I read in the intro, you plan on using first person? Totally great idea, as long as it stays straight throughout the story. That stuff can get confusing sometimes.
Other than that, I am so excited to see how your stories fold out! I think it is such a unique and twisted idea, but is going to be so entertaining to read!
I really like your idea to use Dante Inferno; I think it has a lot of potential to be a really good topic. Your idea to add comedic relief to your story is very bold and adding a fun and interesting twist to such an iconic story. I laughed, a little too hard honestly, at the names you used in your story. More specifically the Irony of the Hugh Heffner part (R.I.P) haha and the Kevin Durant bit. I also liked your use of first person through the eyes of death; it adds a nice twist to the story.
ReplyDeleteI will say do be carful with the flow of your story. I don’t want to stray to far of topic. It is easy to start going one direction and venture off in another, you just center it a little more. There were a few times early on the story seemed mottled and confusing.
Other than that I think you have some great ideas and a lot of potential to put them to good use. I look forward to following your story the rest of the semester. Good luck!
I think your intro is great! Our writing styles seem very similar so I was into this from the first sentence. It's a very creative approach to Dante's Inferno, especially with your use of humor, but it totally works. I also really liked how you mentioned that there are 10 circles of hell and giving us some of that background to the original story, then explaining why we won't see all 10. I think the past, present, and future thing is an interesting twist even if I don't 100% get it right now.
ReplyDeleteI would maybe italicize or bold or do something to make the font for the description of Death different from the font of when Death is talking to the audience. I think it would look a little nicer and maybe help with that transition from third person narration to first person narration. I can't wait to read more about Charley and Death's adventures through Hell!
Hey Charles,
ReplyDeleteI think you did an awesome job in writing your introduction. I also thought it was funny that you named your character Charley. Are you actually making yourself a character to be dissected or are you simply using your name? Regardless, I think that it is hilarious.
I like that you are not showing Hell and your version of Dante's Inferno in such a serious manner. I can see this by including people in your Hell like Lebron James, Quagmire, and Kevin Durant (I can see that somebody is not that big of a fan of super teams!). The idea that Death is more or less here to be a narrator for some twisted sitcom is great and I feel that you can make stories that will generate good laughs. My only suggestion is reconsider only using three of the circles of Hell. Don't be afraid to diverge from your main path as the semester goes along!
Overall, great job! I look forward to what comes next from Charley's adventure!
Hi Charles!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction definitely made me laugh! I loved how you incorporated funny and yet extremely relevant characters in our society as examples of the people in the circles of hell! I am not going to lie, I was more than a little happy to see KD included under the "treachery" circle! I am really excited to see what you do with this storybook. I also liked how you made it seem like death is filming a reality tv show or something! It is a really good idea on how to spice up an already extremely well known yet kinda boring story! The one thing that was a little confusing to me was going from the first unknown narrator to death as the narrator, if you could find a way to transition to death a little more smoothly or maybe even explain who the first person is, I think that would really help with the clarity of this story! Overall you are doing a good job, and I can't wait to see what you have to say next!
Hey Charles! I am also doing a storybook for Dante's Inferno and I have the exact type of website as you do! I really like that you have kept to Dante's theme of using celebreties as examples within the afterlife. Even cartoon characters! Now that is original! I loved your intro and your story. I also like that you have focused on the more comedic side of things. My story focuses on the more morbid parts of hell, and integrating them into real life. A little spooky honestly. But anyways, my biggest suggestion to you is to give a little more detail of the surroundings. Paint a really good picture for the reader. When traveling into unknown dimensions such as hell, the reader probably has no idea what it even remotely looks like, so it is especially important here. Otherwise, great job! Keep it up! And if you need some ideas you might head over to my blog and see what I have done!
ReplyDeleteCharles, I really liked the use of dialogue in both your introduction and the first circle of Hell. It made me feel as though Death was actually talking to me instead of a narrator just explaining the events that are occurring. I also like the sense of humor you added. The original is very serious, but you made it your own with the comedic dialogue and the characters you chose. I think the most confusing part for me is when Death keeps referring to how he already knows Charley and has taken him on trips to Hell before. What exactly has Charley done before that warranted a visit from Death? Does Death usually visit people multiple times? These are questions that can clear up some confusion in the story if they were answered. Also, what if you included dialogue from Charley instead of just death? I feel as though Charley hasn’t really said anything, but it would improve the story if he did.
ReplyDeleteCharles!
ReplyDeleteI love your idea of doing Dantes Inferno but making it more light hearted! Have you ever read The Book Thief? Your Death reminds me a lot of death in that novel! Great work! I also love that your main character is sort of named after you lol. I honestly think you should make Death the narrator from the very beginning though - he's a lot more compelling than the unknown one at the beginning. It makes so much since to my brain to use three of the levels of hell for your three stories! Great work!
Hey Charles. First of all, let me start by saying that I really like your idea to use Dante’s Inferno. I also like how you gave it A Christmas Carol twist. I like how your introduction set up the story in the viewpoint of Death, and also how he explains the Inferno. Your first story was very good to. I like how you decided to replace the people they meet with more modern day people that the readers can relate more easily to and are more likely to know the stories of. Your author’s note was also very helpful. I like how you explain that your Death and Charley are replacements for Dante and Virgil. I also like how you explain why you changed out the characters like Cleopatra for more modern characters like Quagmire. The images you used where very good and went well with the story. I hope you have a good rest of the semester, and look forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Charles! I really enjoy your project concept — Inferno is fascinating to me and I think your take on it is really clever (I especially enjoyed your interpretations of the different circles of hell and who might be in them in the intro).
ReplyDeleteOne thing that confused me was the voice you used throughout the story. It seems like you start the intro with a third person perspective, then shift to a first person perspective from Death. Straightening that out might be helpful.
Another thing I wondered while reading your first story — what exactly was Charley's sin? Death mentions that Charley deals with lust, but doesn't ever deal with any of the specifics of his sins. I think it might be helpful to let readers understand exactly what Charley is touring hell for. Also, Charley's dialogue with Death left me wondering when the two had met before? Death is vey familiar with Charley, but Charley seems not to know Death. What's the relationship there?
Overall, I really liked your creative retelling of Inferno — I'm looking forward to following Charley's journey through the next circles of hell.
Hi Charles! I like the idea of your project. I think one thing you might consider is, particularly in the introduction, making the design of your storybook a bit more engaging and easy to read. The super-small text on a blank white screen is a little dull. I thought your introduction was funny — including LeBron James and Kevin Durant under "treachery" brought a compelling modern-day touch to the story. Like Emma commented before, I think it's a little confusing with the relationship between Charley and Death. How do they know each other? Why has Death chosen Charley? In your Lust chapter, it seems wrong to use Bill Cosby as an example, since he's known to be sexually abusive. But that's obviously your call — just wanted to point that out in case you didn't know. Using Quagmire was a smart modern touch. Anyway, nice work! Hope the rest of the semester goes well for you.
ReplyDeleteHey Charles,
ReplyDeleteI really like Dante's Inferno so I like your stories a lot. Your introduction was very funny and I really like the LeBron and Kevin Durant references to today. There were some issues I had with the relationship between Charley and Death. I was wondering how they knew each other and why Charley. I really like the use of Quagmire as well. Really enjoyed your stories and hope the last few weeks of this semester go well for you.
Hey Charles,
ReplyDeleteGreat storybook! The layout of your storybook made it easy to navigate through the site and it was really interesting to read your stories. I am assuming that "Charley" is meant to be you? If so, I think that is really cool that you decided to put yourself in such a dark story plot. My favorite thing about your storybook was all of the detail that you used. The introduction really had me hooked from the beginning when you started to describe Death and how others see him. The photo that you used at the bottom of your introduction was really vivid. I thought that it showed what the reaper actually looked like. It was an interesting photo. The stories that followed were packed with so much detail that I thought I was in Charley's shoes living in all of that. The title of your storybook really made me curious too as of how we would be going back to the inferno, Meaning Dante's Inferno. But I really liked all of your stories and I thank you for sharing. It was really good. Have a great rest of your semester and try not to stress about finals like I know I will!