Week 5 Story: The Unsolvable Riddle

There once was a kingdom far from others and in this kingdom lived a king by the name Clever. Clever was known for his undying love for his people. He was not your typical king. When the weather was bad and the crops would not grow, Clever would come down from his castle and help the people sow seeds into the ground. He would go and help the elderly to the best of his ability. He was no ordinary king. He was the people's king.

On day at the break of dawn, a wandering traveler came to the footsteps of King Clever's kingdom. He begged to be let in for he was in dire need of the king's help. Once Clever heard of this he ordered that the man be brought into the lands, be fed, and dressed in the finest clothes. He then had the traveler brought to his chambers and ask him, "Dear traveler, you have wandered a great distance judging by the conditions of your attire. What brings you all the way to my beloved kingdom?".

The traveler answered, "Your highness, I have indeed traveled a great ways to find you for I have heard of the kindness in your heart. You must help me retrieve a body from a cemetery. I would do this myself, but I am not allowed anywhere near the body. Will you please help me? I have brought all my treasures for you. Gold, silver, diamonds, anything you want you can have.".

The king was shocked at the fact that he traveled so far to him find him only to ask that he bring back a body. And so the king told the traveler that he would accept his request and travel with him to the cemetery to aid in the retrieval of the body. They wasted no time at all and by the time the sun came down and the moon shined above, they were already on horseback riding to their destination.

It took 3 days to reach the cemetery. King Clever was a man with the nerves of steel. Nothing had ever scared him and nothing was going to change that night. The weary traveler stop at a willow tree and told the king that this was as far as he was allowed to go. He said, "The body is ways down this path. Just keep following it and you'll see the biggest headstone of them all. That is where the body lays. Please bring the body back to me.".

And so the king set out to find the body. When he finally reached the headstone, it was nothing he'd ever seen before. It stood taller than he himself. He walked over and saw that the grave had already been dug open and down below the casket was already open. Although suspicious, the kind did not hesitate and gathered the body over his shoulders. He began walking back to the traveler when he heard a voice coming from the body. It said "O king, you have traveled so far for such a rotting corpse. Let me entertain you as you carry this heavy body back.".

King Clever, with nerves of steel, asked who lived inside the body. It replied, "It is I, the goblin of the cemetery. I inhabit all bodies that are taken away from their graves. Now let me tell you of my riddles. I will give you many riddles and if you know the answer to them then you will tell me. Once you have answered my riddle correctly I will be teleported back to the grave you found me in. If you do know the answer and choose not to open your mouth then your head will be split into a million pieces. If you do not know the answer then you may take the body all the way back.".

So they went on their way back to the traveler. Again and again the king answered the goblins riddles. And again and again he would have to travel all the way back to the grave to retrieve the body. After twenty-one riddles and twenty-one answers, the king grew tired of the goblins tricks and using his cleverness told the goblin this, "O Goblin say no more as we talk our walk back again. I propose to you a riddle of my own. Instead of my answering one of your riddles you will answer one of mine. I call this riddle 'The Unsolvable Riddle'. No man or woman in my kingdom has ever gotten it right. If you know the answer to it then you shall speak and we can continue with your riddles. But if you are stumped then you will allow me to take the body back to the traveler.". The goblin reluctantly agreed.

(Goblin, Source: Pinterest)

The king began the riddle:
"I turn polar bears white
And I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
And girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
And normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
And make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you answer this riddle, dear Goblin?"

Alas, the goblin was finally stumped. He could not utter a single word. And so the king kept walking and walking, but as he almost approached the willow tree of the traveler the goblin finally spoke and said, "O king, you have definitely fooled me. As a token of your reward I will tell you this truth. The traveler that you are seeking this body for is using you. He will sacrifice you to the gods to become king himself.". The king was filled with disbelief at the goblin and went on his way to the traveler. He set down the body and the rest history because as it turns out... the goblin was right.

Author's Notes:
In the original story, there was a monk who approached the king and every time he gave him a gift. Inside the gift was a gem and once the king found out he asked the monk why he had been giving him so many gems. The monk wanted the king to help him carry a body. The king helped the monk and inside the body was a goblin. This goblin kept telling the king riddles as he would walk back to the monk and each time he answered a riddle correctly the body would teleport back to the tree. Finally there was a riddle that the king could not answer and so the goblin told him that the monk was tricking him and to ask him how to lay on the ground so that he can cut off his head. The king did this and killed the monk. I changed the monk to a traveler and the background story of the traveler. I also skipped all the riddles and had the king tell the goblin a riddle instead. The goblin would not get it right and the king would be able to take the body back. The goblin would warn him, but the king filled with disbelief would not hear it. This marked the end of the kings days. I put a twist of the ending instead of the original.

Bibliography: "Twenty-Two Goblins" translation by Arthur Ryder. Web Source